How do you feel when you watch #morningroutine TikToks about about people who appear to have the “perfect” morning routine? Or when you read a self-help book written by someone who preaches waking at at 4am, running a marathon, journalling, hand-growing your own breakfast and getting an hour of meditation in all before breakfast?

If you’re anything like me, you think URGH, these people are insufferable. And also, why can’t I be one of those people?

I’d like to say to you, I’m glad you’re not one of those people. And also, you can get yourself a morning routine that works for you without having to run marathons and write an entire novel before 9am.

Here’s how.

The morning routines of successful people

There is so much content out there showing or describing the morning routines of the world’s most successful people — and even some random influencers you’ve never heard of.

Most of them go something like this:

Wake up: Set your alarm for what the majority of the population considers to be an ungodly hour of the morning. Some time after midnight and before 5am is perfect.
Cold plunge: Immersing yourself in an icy bucket of water is the best way to start your day. It reduces inflammation, increases your immune response, and most importantly will ensure you don’t fall asleep during the next step.
Meditate: If you have thoughts like why the bloody hell am I awake at this time or I’m going to freeze to death after that ice bath, just focus on your breath and let them float away, like flowers in the breeze.
Journal: Some people use prompts, but this is for the weak. Instead, just write for at least 30 minutes in a free-flowing stream of consciousness.
Exercise: Running a half marathon distance is preferable, but if you’re hindered by frustrating things like your own family waking up and demanding your attention, a 10km light jog will suffice. Make sure you post about it on Strava so that everyone knows how productive and active you are.
Make a nutritional breakfast: Your meal prep should all have been done the day before, so you should just need to heat up those overnight oats you prepared earlier. All your ingredients should be organic.
Start your day: Finally, you’re now ready for a day of insane productivity, so go forth and conquer it … if you have the energy to that, of course.

Now, I think it’s great that this works for those people — although I question whether it really does. I think it sets unrealistic expectations for people who have so much going on in their lives that they simply can’t fit all this in, and then the inevitable feelings of guilt and shame that they can’t be that perfect person.

And guess what: we’re not perfect. Even those people you admire so much aren’t as perfect as they seem — the world of social media only shows us the best parts of peoples’ lives.

So the first step is to stop trying to set up a morning routine based off an influencer on TikTok or a self-help guru — as experienced as they seem, you need to do what works for you.

6 steps to create a morning routine that doesn’t suck

Start with why
Get clear on what needs to be a part of it
Determine your priority elements
Make it easy
Combine elements
Be kind to yourself

Start with why (you want to set up a morning routine)

What’s the reason behind wanting to establish a morning routine? Really think about it for a moment.

Because I doubt it’s because you want to be like that perfect influencer who appears to have the perfect life.

It’s probably one or several of the following things:

you want to feel set up for the day ahead
you want to start your day in a positive way
there are certain things you tend to procrastinate on and getting them out of the way early will make it more likely you’ll get them done
you want to get into good habits
you want to be more productive
you currently have no routine, and feel having one would improve your day-to-day life
you want to get your admin and priority tasks out of the way early so you can spend the rest of your day doing things you enjoy

If you’re implementing a new routine it’s not enough to do it just for the sake of it: you need a clear understanding of why you’re doing it.

Think about the end goal.

How will having a solid morning routine make you feel?
What impact will it have on your day? On your life in general?
What impact will it have on others around you, such as your partner, family or colleagues?
What does having a good morning routine actually mean to you?

Only when you know why you are setting a routine up, will you be able to work towards setting up an effective routine, because you’ll have a clear purpose for doing so that will keep you motivated.

2. Get clear on what needs to be a part of your morning routine

Not everyone needs to cold plunge, meditate, journal and run every morning to achieve their goals.

Let’s say your goals are:

to start my day positively
to work on my side business
to establish better mental wellbeing
to reach a conversational level of te reo Māori by the end of the year

Consider what elements of a morning routine are going to help you get there.

Can you still start your day positively without an ice bath?

Do you need to run a half marathon every morning to start your day positively?

Do you have to journal, meditate, run and cold plunge in order to have better mental wellbeing?

Is there something else that makes you feel happy that you could incorporate?

Maybe running’s not your thing, but you love swimming and going for walks.

3. Determine your priority elements

Depending on what time you choose to wake up in the morning, you’ll likely have 2-3 hours of time to spend on your morning routine. It may not be possible to incorporate absolutely everything you want to in there, so prioritisation is key.

What is the most important goal, and the one thing you could do each morning that will set you up to succeed in that? What is a nice-to-have part of your routine but not essential?

When I was setting up a morning routine at the beginning of the year I considered my goals for 2024, which were:

Maintain a work-life balance in the wake of burnout
Run a marathon in May
Reach a basic conversational level of Spanish
Get my new business off the ground

Some of these goals were more important than others.

In order of priority, what was most important to me was protecting my wellbeing. After experiencing burnout last year, I wanted to maintain the boundaries I’d set myself and not return to a state of overwhelm. I also know that when I’m mentally healthy and well, I can accomplish so much more, so it tied with my second priority goal of getting my new business off the ground. That would never happen if I didn’t focus on number one.

The marathon and the Spanish were nice to have, but not essential. They would make me feel accomplished, but I could live without achieving those goals, so I deemed them lower priority.

How did prioritisation help me put together my routine?

Firstly, I considered my #1 priority of maintaining wellbeing. To me, this meant managing my anxiety and stress levels during the day. Knowing myself and what works for me, moving my body and getting outside is absolutely essential. So I made sure that I had getting outside and moving my body in some way part of my routine.

It just so happened that moving my body in the form of running would also help towards my marathon goal, so that was a great way of killing two birds with one stone.

I initially included “spend 10 mins on Duolingo” as part of my morning routine, but I found that because I did this on my phone, it led to me I got sucked into checking social media and emails, which compromised the moving my body part of the routine. As this was more of a priority than reaching that conversational level of Spanish, I shifted the Duolingo out of my morning routine, and now do it later in the day.

The key is being flexible with your routine, and shift things around if they’re not working for you. If you’re noticing your priority elements aren’t happening or the things you’re doing aren’t getting you closer to your most important goals, it’s time for a change.

4. Make it easy

Another thing to factor in is what you find easy to do versus things you find challenging. When getting into new habits, making them easy is crucial. As James Clear writes, “the less energy a habit requires, the more likely it is to occur” (Atomic Habits, p.152).

How did I make my morning routine easy?

My partner’s alarm goes off every weekday morning at 6.00am, so I wake up at that time whether I want to or not. Rather than fight it, I decided to accept that and use it as motivation to get up and start my day. I was awake anyway, so why not get up and make the most of the day?
Instead of going for a run as the first thing of the day, I decided to read. This involves simply moving from the bed to the living room couch, and when I’m tired and don’t feel like getting up this is much more appeaiong than the thought of going for a 7km run. I choose to start with an easy action, and once I’m more awake and energised, I’m more likely to go on that run (that’s more of a priority).

5. Combine elements to hack your way to routine

When I initially started planning my new routine, everything was very separate. Eating breakfast was a single task, as was drinking my cup of coffee, as was going for a run.

But here’s the thing: I’m quite fast at reading and writing, but I’m seriously slow at eating, drinking and running. So those things all take a long time.

What I realised was these slower things also don’t require a lot of concentration. They’re automatic — things I can do for the most part unconsciously without too much mental effort.

So I decided to combine some aspects of my routine.

Eat breakfast —> Eat breakfast while reading something (a way of getting in my bodily fuel while also learning something new about business or coaching that I can apply to my business — therefore also working towards my business goal).
Drink coffee —> Drink coffee while going on a walk (on non-running days, this allowed me to combine my moving my body need with my daily coffee).
Go for a run —> Go for a run while listening to a podcast (on running days, this combines moving my body with learning something).

Consider what things you can combine to create more efficiency in your morning routine.

6. Be kind to yourself

If you’ve read James Clear’s bestseller Atomic Habits, you’ll know that he acknowledges you’re not going to get it perfect all of the time, and that’s okay. In fact, the key to sticking to your routines and habits is to show compassion for yourself if you do slip occasionally.

We’re all human, and sometimes we get sick, our kids need us, our pets escape and run down the street, we’re exhausted due to a stressful work week, and so many other things. If you let something slip, the important thing is not to berate yourself for failing. Instead, take the time to rest if you need it, attend to other priorities, and the next day hop right back on that bus and keep going.

My morning routine

My ideal morning routine looks like this:

6.00am: I wake up and drink some water while reading a book.
6.30am: I eat breakfast and have a coffee while reading (pre-made over the weekend so I don’t have to do anything other than put it in a bowl).
7.00am: I do some pilates or go for a run, depending on the day of the week.
8.00am: I shower and drink more water.
8.20am: I set an intention for my day and assign myself ONE single task I want to get done.
8.45am: I prepare for the day ahead, looking at my calendar, checking my emails and socials.
9.00am: I start my day.

I’m a real person though, so my actual morning routine goes something more like this:

6.00am: My partner’s alarm goes off. He snoozes it. I could get up now but instead I lie there until the inevitable next alarm.
6.09am: The alarm goes off again. My partner snoozes it a second time. I could get up now but instead continue to lie there until the inevitable third alarm.
6.18am: The alarm goes off one final time. My partner gets up to shower. I could get up but instead I lie there enjoying having the cosy bed all to myself.
6.30am: My partner finishes his shower, and I get up, get dressed and head to the living room.
6.35am (ish): I drink a glass of water while reading a book.
7.00am (ish): I eat breakfast and read some more.
7.30am: I have a coffee and continue reading.
8.00am (ish): I do some pilates or go for a run, depending on the day of the week.
8.30am (ish): I shower, drink more water and check my socials/emails. If I’ve gone for a run, this will be half an hour later as it takes me much longer than pilates.
9.00am (ish): I set an intention for my day and assign myself ONE single task I want to get done.
9.30am: I start my day.

This is the long version, but the short version is this: I wake up, I do something I enjoy, I move my body and take a moment to focus before starting my day. That’s really all it is.

Do I do this every single day? No. Do I feel better on the days I do it? Yes. So I keep going, even if I miss something one day - I’ll be back at it the next.

I’m constantly looking for ways to improve my routine, but overall it’s had a huge impact on my life. I went from having absolutely no routine (getting up at all different times of the morning, exercising at random times during the day and feeling anxious until I did, not knowing what my priorities were for each day) to starting my day feeling energised and with a clear focus. At least, most of the time, because hey, I’m not a perfect TikTok influencer - I’m a normal human just like you.

Note on images: All the images in this blog post are my own, taken from trips around Aotearoa (New Zealand).

How to create a morning routine that doesn’t suck