Why you need an accountability partner
An accountability partnership is a great way to keep yourself on track and gain valuable feedback — and do the same for somebody else. Mine happened almost by accident, but you can certainly be more intentional about setting one up. Accountability is an important part of personal development in that it creates a support system that can spring into action should your motivation drop, setting you up for success in the long-term. Even if you’re incredibly self-motivated, you will still benefit from an accountability partnership.
What is an accountability partnership?
An accountability partnership in the way I’m describing it here is a relationship between two people that is focused on professional and/or personal development.
It involves regular catch ups that focus on personal growth whereby you share learnings and advice, and check in with each other on how your goals are going.
Why set up an accountability partnership?
Part of the coaching conversation involves setting a plan of action as to how you will take the learnings of a session to move forward towards your desired outcome. At the end of each session I ask my clients who they’re going to share their actions with (which is a less stressful way of asking: who is going to make sure you take those actions?)
This is because when you set yourself a goal, sharing it with someone else can help motivate you to complete it when you find yourself lacking in motivation.
An accountability partnership is a great way to keep yourself on track with your goals. It’s also a great way of getting a second opinion on a confronting problem, something you’re struggling with, or feedback on an idea you’ve come up with.
It’s a partnership because while your partner is supporting you in achieving your goals, you’re doing the same for them.
How is an accountability partnership different to a mentoring or coaching relationship?
An accountability partnership makes a great complement to coaching and to mentoring, but it’s different to both.
The main difference is that an accountability partner can be someone who is at a similar life or career stage to you. You’re both on a journey. The journey might not necessarily be identical, but it should be similar, i.e. you’re both mid-career professionals in different lines of work seeking to progress, or you’re both people who are feeling stagnant in your current job and want to make a change).
In a mentoring relationship, one person (the mentor) has more life or career experience, and uses that experience to share insights and advice with their mentee. A coach, on the other hand, will ask you questions and challenge your thinking, but the focus is on you, not on them. As a coach, my experience informs my approach but it is not relevant to the coaching conversation. Rather, I take the assumption that you have everything you need within you to make changes to your own life, and I’m simply there to support you. I’m not the expert - you are!
An accountability partner is similar to a coach in that they should support you and challenge your thinking, however unlike coaching it’s a reciprocal relationship because you’re doing the same for your partner.
It’s also different to a friendship, though your accountability partner could also be a friend. There’s more of a focus to your conversations and catchups, which there isn’t necessarily with a friendship. You both want to get something out of it at the end, whether that’s constructive feedback, support, or a new perspective on a situation.
How to set up an accountability partnership
I set up an accountability partnership totally by accident. After meeting at a young professionals networking event after work one evening, we instantly connected over a mutual interest in financial wellbeing/investing, travels to Vietnam, and were clearly both growth-minded people who thought deeply and loved learning.
We decided to meet up for a coffee to chat some more about some of these things, and after the first one decided to make it a regular fortnightly thing.
Mine happened organically, but my advice to anyone looking to set up something similar is to reach out to someone who is at a similar stage of life or career as you who you share common values or interests with, and simply ask if they want to catch up for a coffee. It doesn’t have to be formal.
You also don’t have to call it an accountability partnership. However, the important thing is to give the invite a focus in order to set expectations. For example, when you reach out, explain that you’d like to discuss your respective career goals and offer feedback to one another.
What makes a great accountability partner?
What makes a good accountability partner will be slightly different for everyone, but there are some key things that are important:
An open and curious outlook: This person is not there to judge your decisions, they’re there to listen and offer honest thoughts and feedback. Openness to others’ experiences is therefore super important.
Not afraid to share their feedback: A good accountability partner shouldn’t let things slide. They’ll ask those challenging questions that make you reflect on why you’re doing things a certain way. You’re there to get results and move further towards your goal, so you need someone who’s going to push you when you need it, and you’ll need to be prepared to do the same for them.
Preparedness: It’s a good idea to have something to bring to each catchup as this gives the session a focus. You’ll find you get more value out of it that way.
Tips to set up accountability partnership conversations
Do them in person if possible
This is not essential, but it does help build rapport.
Make them convenient
Schedule catchups at a location that’s easy for both of you to get to and doesn’t involve too many bus/train changes or other challenges that might result in you making excuses not to go.
Make them regular
Consistency is key, whether it be every week, fortnight, month or quarter.
Put them in your calendar
Schedule them in ahead of time and reduce the admin.
Ensure you both get equal time to share
The conversation should be two-way, so ensure you allow adequate time for both of you to share what’s on your mind.
Be open
Share honestly what’s going on to enable the best possible feedback from your partner. You don’t need to share every minute detail, but providing context will help your partner to support you in the best possible way.
Adapt as you go
Just see how you get on. You might decide you want an agenda to follow and send each other notes/thoughts ahead of each session to have time to prepare. Alternatively, you might rather than turn up on the day and see where the conversation goes. The important thing is that you adapt when you need to in order for both of you to get value out of the partnership.